Friday, September 08, 2006

Adam's 7 Steps to have HER leave you

I know i had not been doing this sort of article since form 5 , i might as well dig up my ol' school skills now and spread the love to everyone who intends to live a single life without the chains of another every minute of your life.


1. Be a jerk:

As amusing as it may sound, this works. Start by finding ways to which might irritate your partner. A few good long hours of constant nagging and complaint every single day after work on your partner is a stepping stone towards your goal. Nag at everything she does which you are not satisfied at, especially her cooking. A round of abusive language will certainly increase the hate factor. Be a pain in the ass everyday and i guarantee you an amount of success.


2. Be depressing:

Girls do not like their men to be all cool and lifeless. Keep up with the complains and talk about office problems, money problems, house problems , anything which has to do with worries more. You are probably around 26, do try your best to look stress out and show no signs of happiness as you converse with her. Do also stress more on your sex life, complain about it more. It's the end of any humours with her. If your partner still insist, try the next step.


3. Be non committal:

Being fully commited towards one another is something very essential in maintaning a good stable relationship. By being otherwise, you have to start exercising your care-less attitude. Fully maximise your repertoire by deliberately showing signs of breaking promises , breaking agreements and so forth. Cancelling plans with her constantly will have her irritated for sure.


4. Be Inconsiderate:

Start off by lacking any thoughfulness towards her. Forget her birthday , anniversary and any other important dates which you both might had made in the past. Purposely hang up the phone before she's finish talking, demand to fetch her back home while she's still doing her shopping. OOOooo...girls do love shopping alot don't they? Failure to fetch her from her parents house after promising her you would will be a good idea. Constantly talk about her insecurities in front of people whom you know.... or even better ppl whom you don't.


5. Marriage? NO!

Regularly remind her that you are not into marriage and all those lovey dovey white gown " i do " stuff. Tell her that you are those who can't just settle down. I am sure it will be the end of the road soon for both of you.




6. Disagree on everything, i mean everything:


She ask for LV bags, you give her plastic bags. She ask for cash, you give her trash. I don't think a normal human being could even tolerate such abuse after a while. You are nearing the end of the relationship and the beginning of a new life. Not sure of it yet? Resort to the last option...


7. Hit on your gf's best friend:


Every girl's nightmare. It hurts her dignity, her self confidence, everything, you name it. It's the worst out of the 6 options which i had earlier provided. Try hitting on her best friend or even her colleagues and purposely brag about how pretty they are compared to your gf. If your gf still wants you, by then you had to be ashame of yourselve.





I do not intend to provide you with this info as it might lead to an increase in break ups, but i foresee a good future for all of you, one which some of you are looking for. Hence my 7 golden steps. Nite. I am tired....

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

rachel..be careful!

Anonymous said...

yeah~ he has this kinda thinking, i really need to be careful from now on. never knew he will come out with those ideas! Adam, you're scary!

Anonymous said...

LOl. i got nothing to do

Mr. A. said...

Gua ar.. gua ai lu eh sim ar..

Anonymous said...

sorry, i miss the point here, And girls supposedly to go goo-goo-gah-gah over you ON WHAT?