Interview with the Grandmaster K

It's hard to truly understand and accept a person for who he/she is, it takes time and a great deal of understanding, give and take between you and me and all sorts of shitwillingness to accept the person for who she or he is. Just recently, i was part of the unlucky selected fews who got interviewed by a local model agency which i refused to name because it's a Kadazan lookalike Model agency i've signed a MOU ( Memorandum of Understanding ) with them by not disclosing any IMPORTANT information on that upcoming star-studded model agency.

As usual, all models-to-be or famous faeces faces will either get interviewed or get laid sooner or later. Not that it make any sense, i opted for an interview instead. So.....

It's actually not that hard to understand ...... me. ( It will be hard if you're a noob)

To understand me, first you have to recognize who this Adam Kuek guy is. Yes! You had been hearing things about him since primary school. What more to say secondary? It seems so HOUSEHOLD now that whenever the name ADAM popped up, surely and i guaran-damn-tee that you, your mum, your overaged indonesian house maid or even your soon-to-RIP granddad will actually think about me.....

Because you all had seen me before somewhere...... Yeah, i know you all did....
( The American Version )







hmmmm...Or maybe you never did.
( The Asian Version )






Seriously, how would i, on earth compare myself to Mr. Daniel "i'm impotent cause i can't wank" Radcliffe? Darn you all peeps who had too much booze lately. I am way better than him in terms of English Grammar and Pronounciation. I DO NOT need to attend any lame auditions to make a name for myself, all i need to do is come out with another version of NYP TammyAdamKuek.

and i am MULTILINGUAL OKAY?????!????

Adam Kuek is blessed with the gift of speaking in:

1. English
2. Broken Singaporean English
3. Bahasa Malaysia
4. Bahasa Sarawak
5. Mandarin
6. Hakka
7. Hokkien
8. Canton
9. Broken Malaysia "AH BENG" ENGERISHHH

Daniel "I'm really am impotent , please don't touch me weiners"Radcliffe only speaks:

1. English
2. Harry Pothead's Jibberish Language

....So, you have already seen the real ME, now i believe you do understand why that particular "Star-studded" Modelling agency came in with an offer for me + a complimentary interview which i am hesitating to post up few of my favourite questions.

Interviewer: You are the talk of the town of late? What's by far your biggest achivement in your life?
Adam: Hmm... ( with those sissy-liked Jay Chou looks ) apart from being nominated as Class treasurer for 4 years straight, my biggest achivement to date is probably winning 3rd place in overall English singing competition....where no one turn up for the competition.
Interviewer: Impressive.... your record shows it all, you had been there, done that.
Adam: Done what?
Interviewer: Cock talking?
Adam: Nice one..
Interviewer: So, are you single? Would you mind if i introduce to you some hot young nubile kawaii chicks?
Adam: I am not single, but i am always available. I do not understand why would everyone wanna introduce to me the opposite sex. Please, i'm really sick of girls. Gimme me some studs.
Interviewer: I heard from your coach that you are a natural athlete. Is that true?
Adam: I wouldn't like to deny that, the coach is always right, and when you can do 250 pumps non-stop up and down all nite on the bed, the record is there for all to see.
Interviewer: How would you describe yourselve?
Adam: Analytical? Quiet? Hamsap ( not always but usually ) and cunning Smart.

Interviewer: What motivates you to put forth your greatest effort?
Adam: Money, it's as simple as that.
Interviewer: Who's your bet on winning this year's World Cup?
Adam: England, Definitely.
Interviewer: Who is your current gf?
Adam: :) , she's in Aus. MY GIRLFRIEND IS IN AUS!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!
Interviewer: What was your worst job?
Adam: Worst job? I don't have many good or bad job stories, but if you're talking about salary vs jobscope wise, it will be my current job.
Interviewer:Which is better? Being gay or straight?
Adam: I'll say gay. You have both sides of the world. Try asking my cousin Adrian Tiong.
Interviewer: Chocolate, Vanilla or Strawberry?
Adam: Never Vanilla... although my girlfriend loves it.
Interviewer: Whose grave would you most likely love to piss on?
Adam: Mine. I would like people to say is "hey, he still wet his bed grave"
Interviewer: Who is the MOST cute girl you ever come across?
Adam: Yun Yun? Sometimes, i can't differentiate between originally cute or faking it.
Interviewer: Who is the Ugliest?
Adam: I have no idea, to me , everyone is pretty.
Interviewer: What one thing that you said to someone you would like to take back?
Adam: I would like to break up because my mum don't let me... but i really love you.
Interviewer: Have you ever regret being in love with someone who you don't love?
Adam: This interview is going nowhere really...
Interviewer: What's the most embarrassing thing you had done?
Adam: To fall into a drain while trying hard to be as cool as possible in front of some pretty chick. It was a disaster.
Interviewer: How would you celebrate Valentines?
Adam: Alone. Anyone mind to join?
Interviewer: When did you lose your virginity? and where?
Adam: I'm still a virgin. Where would i like to lose it? Probably the washroom. J/k. ( laughs in a cunning way )
Interviewer: Who is your best mate?
Adam: My dogs, Gucci and Buddy. They are always there when you are happy and down. They are part of the family.
Interviewer: Would you cry if one day they aren't there?
Adam: Who wouldn't?
Interviewer: Which footballing mates of yours impresses you most?
Adam: Hmm.... Ah Loke and Ngee Huat? Ah loke for being a consistent performer everytime he steps onto the field. Ah Huat being ruthless in his tackles and power shots, unfortunately, he has retired due to some niggling injuries.
Interviewer: Who understands you more than anyone else in this world?
Adam: My mum probably, if not...my soul. (or gf.. lol)
Interviewer: I hear you had been two timing lately?
Adam: No, that's a false accusation. It happens from time to time and it takes a while for me to get over it last time.
Interviewer: What kind of person which could you attract you most?
Adam: Honest, Sweet, Fun .
Interviewer: Who would you wanna be if you are not Adam Kuek? Just your friends.
Adam: ( pondering for some time )... Pui Yit King? I love to own a hotel... and a restaurant.
Interviewer: What words would you leave for the younger generations to achieve their dreams?
Adam: Be yourselve and believe in yourselve, stay away from Porn too.

The above interviewed was done on 01 April 2006.
Venue: Al Fresco.
Interviewer: X X Miss Lee