My Friend Got Bashed... ( Updated )

....by a freaking tomboy!!!!

Alright, i was unfortunate not to have brought along my digital cam as all events unfolded so suddenly and that dramatically which might really impressed director Ang Lee himself if he was there.

I'll try my best to make things as short but as detailed as possible.

Time: 9.00 PM - 12.00 AM
Venue: A Small Cd Stall at Taman Tunku, Miri.
Characters Involved: many la la zais and la la muiz including patrick and hui chong. excluding me.


The story goes like this,

It was around 10.00PM , i was driving 2 of my mates name Patrick Wu and Hui Chong back to my house after we had a drink at a stall in Taman Tunku, Miri. Patrick Wu had earlier left his car at my house because he wanted to save fuel feel the power of my Type R Engine.

On the way back home, i received a phone call from someone ( a girl but sounds like a guy ):

Phone Session 1:
Tomboy: Halo? Are u Adam's Flen?!??!??
Adam: Er.... huh? I am Adam.
Tomboy: Halo?!? Are u Adam's Flen?????!!!??
Adam: I am Adam! What do you want?
Tomboy: Ok!
Adam: What?
Tomboy: U come back to the CD Stall here cos your girlfriend is waiting for you!!!! Faster!!!
Adam: What? ( i was pretty blur by that time.. )
Tomboy: Yun Yun asked you to fetch her back!!! We wait for u!
Adam: Hmmmph.. ok.

So, as Yun Yun is one of our friend and it so happens that Patrick lives just a stone throws away from her house, it would take a pretty good excuse if we were to refuse to head back. Not that i am able to come out with one , Patrick eventually decided to head back and fetch her.

As we were driving back, i received another call from that tomboy again,

Phone Session 2:
Adam: Yes?!?
Tomboy: Oi!!!! Where are you?!? Your gf wait for u for some time liaw!!! I also wait verli long leh, faster lar!!
Adam: Wtf..... I think you're mistaken...

( With that she hung up the phone. I assume she don't have much credit left as those tomboys really love messaging other kawaii chicks )

We arrived there just 1-1/2 minutes after that 2nd phone call and as our car stopped right in front of that small tiny weeny cd stall, out a sudden, a dwarft-liked ( physically challenged ) girl ran straight up our vehicle and banged on the windows yelling out profranities as if theres no "innocent" peeps (like me) around.

I couldn't remember how long it took for her to reach our vehicle as every forward step she took seems like forever. No shit!! She's that short alright. Ironically , my indash cd changer was playing 50 cent's In Da Club and it somehow got stuck at the chorus where 50 cents kept singing " Go Shorty, Go Shorty, Its ur birthday...we gonna par-tay like it's ur birthday!!"

The first thing i noticed as she repeatedly banged on the windows was her ridiculous hairstyle. It's short and spiky, dyed with cheap graded hair dyes ( presumebly she did it herself ).

The second thing i noticed was her mouth, i couldn't quite get what she was talking about as she was blabbing things non stop towards my friend Patrick Wu. She was talking so fast that if Mr. Reid from Def Jam Records was there, he might have offered her a lucrative deal to team up with Redman, Methodman and LL Cool J.

The third thing i noticed was she was infact a girl instead of a guy. She has no boobs but then my second to none instincts tells me she is a girl. I comtemplated on touching her/his stuff just to make sure. On 2nd thought, i resisted the temptation.

So, where was i?

Oh yeah, she opened the door and straightaway slapped Patrick right up his face. She was really pissed alright. I can see that look in her eyes that she is that damn piss that she need some piece of Patrick. My initial thought was probably she had too much stress due to homeworks or maybe, she is suffering from the realisation that no guys in this world would wanna date her out.

Tomboy: Ni Gen Wo Chu Lai!!!! Kuai Dien!! Ni Gen Wo Chu lai!!!!! Ni You Mei You Jiang!!! You Mei You Jiang!!!

(translation: U Come Out!! Faster!! U Cum~ Out!!! U Got Say O Not!!?!)

Does this phrase sounds familiar to you? I bet she had too much of that recent Stjoe Girls vs Stco Girl oral cum slapping debate.

Patrick was shocked ....

Hui Chong was shocked ....

Each and every guys there were shocked ....

..... to see the girls gathering around me asking how my manual shift stick works.

..... to see the girls talking to me while they were quarrelling at the other side.

Anyways, the girl kept slapping him for no reason and ordered him to get out of the car...

I was sitting inside the car watching everything unfolded in front of me whilst listening to BabyVox's Missing You sentimental tunes.

I didn't get involved with what happened and i sat there reminiscing about The Godfather game i played earlier on, wondering how on earth did i not completed my last mission which the objectives were just too whacked some girl with a baseball bat. The mission was that simple but i couldn't do it. I don't hit girls...... I really am such a nice guy.

With that, i saw Patrick grabbing the girl by her neck, talking jibberish, i could just figure out something about " Don't mess with me far..ker, i'm gonna beat u up so bad, u dunno what hit ya "

..................hmmmph...

After the slapping and quarelling had toned down, i realized that it was about something which Patrick and some guy had 5 years back and that particular girl wasn't quite pleased about it. No wonder they say girls are that complicated. First they assure you that everythings fine , but the next thing u know after probably 6 years or more, they are gonna raise up the issue again.

By the way...There were many young girls gathering around talking about how cool & handsome i am what had happened earlier on.

I wasn't quite sure how everything got settled in an instant after they decided to end their misunderstanding with few bottles of beers.

The lamest thing i found was , 20 minutes ago they were all yelling like peeps who had just contracted mad cow diseases and later they were all hugging and patting each others back giving words of support , exchanging phone numbers with each other and some guy who seriously thought he was Chan Ho Nam himself was contstantly winking at Patrick Wu.

..... it was some freaky stuff alright.



The moral of this real story: Beers are the only way out to any misunderstanding. =)