Monday, November 01, 2010

Unbearable..

It has just reached mid-night and i am still wide awake.

It certainly has been a tormenting week for me, due to several issues, affecting me both financially and relationship wise.

Even the weather outside is not favoring me too much as it had started raining like theres no tomorrow. It's raining as if typhoon Megi just passed by. The trees are shaking and huge droplets of rain come splashing against my window.

It just sums up my week to be honest.

My week started off pretty bad, when my world literally came crashing down after my so-called ex decided that we probably had reached the end of the line. Freedom was her main reason excuse. I just don't buy that type of shit anymore.

Just recently, i noticed a considerable amount of change in her ways, thinking and style. It must be down to the people she mixes with either in school or outside. Not good friends indeed. She had been spending time with people whom she should be staying away from but due to her stubborn nature, a little advice from me would actually cause her to throw a tantrum. Very disappointing indeed.

She asked to be given her own space, or in other words, to be left alone to do whatever she wishes. But had she not known, all these while, i am the person who should be asking for it instead of her. I gotta admire her swift response and request for a quick way out without giving me a proper reason.

I honestly feel that she is losing herself. She could not even trust people who are close to her, let alone her family members. That's really a sad thing indeed. If i am her brother or some shit, i would gave her a whack on the head to wake her up. Too bad, i can't. But i would love too.

So, bullshits after bullshits were spewed out. None of it makes sense and i went home extremely agitated by events that unfolded few days later. My questions were not properly answered, and if it had been answered, it wouldn't make any sense at all.

Somehow i took the bullet and accepted things as it was. I've learnt that when it comes to separation, nothing makes sense at all, and if we were to put some sense into it, no one would have asked for a break.

This is not my first time, i could officially close this case as my third time. All i wanted was honesty. Hope she learns from it with an open heart.

- end -

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