If you only knew

If you only knew

If you only knew,
Your smile, is the beginning of my heartbeat,
Will you slowly let our memories fade?
If I ceased to tell you how I felt, back when we first met.

If you only knew,
Your eyes, is the caused of my tears,
Will you ever admit, it has suffered all these years?
But letting you go takes forever, as it has been my biggest fear.

If you only knew,
Your heartbeat is the reason that I’m alive.
Will you ever know, it has merged into a beautiful rhythm in my life?
But if you chose to go, then will all these be worthwhile?

Of all these, Maybe you already knew,
Your scent, is the only part I could ever have,
Your smile, is at the only place where memories are kept,
And your heartbeat shall forever beat (for me) a distance away.


By: Adam K.
( 18.11.09 )

This was written for those who knew but refused to accept things as it is. It's been a long while since i wrote something like this. In other words, i am trying to sharpen up my writing skills...again. LOL

Bad Working Environment - The Old Lady

I've been fixating my ass in this cubicle for the past 15 months.

I gotta be honest, it is killing me. Slowly....

This place is emitting bad vibes. Seriously. * I had been losing my bets since the beginning of the year.

There are too many female workers around and THAT is a problem.

I wish to remind everyone that i am not being prejudice towards anyone or any kind of ladies but then again something just doesn’t seem right at all.

While others would give up an arm or a leg to be in my shoes, i on the other hand would give up my all if it means getting out of this sickening place.

Before i further digress, let me share with you about the little problems that i am facing currently. The tiny ones;


The Old Lady:
The young lady who used to sit in front of me has left to pastures new and her replacement is another lady who is nearing her 50's. That digit alone is causing much concern to me.
The alarm bells started to ring a fortnight ago when she refused to accept my kind gesture in offering her a bite-size piece of moon cake and knowing myself well, i do not take rejection lightly, what more to say in front of my colleagues.
Did i also forget about her reluctance in offering words of appreciation?? Not at all.

I guess i’ll never know and get to grips with the real reason behind her refusal towards my goodwill gesture but I hope it has nothing to do with medical issues such as diabetes because I am fully aware of how moon cakes are so sweet and rich in sugar… in nature.

This whole saga troubled me to a certain extent that i started to doubt my abilities in communicating with the ( old ) much matured ladies. I had sleepless nights resulting from it, i started to lose my appetite ever since and i even had visions of myself being rejected as I tried to fit in with the ladies, over and over and over again.

I was unable to cope with the rejection. It affected my work performance and it certainly made matters worse as I had to deal with another extremely demanding girl friend at home. My world literally crumbled upon me in a blink of an eye. It came to a point where I contemplated on volunteering myself to be sent into isolation, registering myself into one of the nearest psychiatric wards to recuperate, to stay clear from being hurt and vice versa.

Anyway, I’m known to exaggerate matters beyond description. So, just in case my relatives or friends who happen to read this thinks that I am starting to lose myself, I assure you that I am not.

So after her initial rejection towards the moon cake ( I know it’s a small deal ) , I embarrassingly admit that I went to my friends for answers & guidance because basically, the only ones who could think out of the box and to see things through all ridiculously impossible angles and perspectives are them.

You see, from what i “heard” from my friends is that if you meet ladies with serious issues, it’s either they did not received some the night before, or they are surprisingly a virgin – An Old One. I said i “heard” but I do not know if it is the truth, but this particular lady who earlier refused my kind gesture are displaying the sort of attitude, behavior and characteristics which my friends were talking about all this while.

I guess I’ll just say that this myth is plausible.

Perv in the office

Everyone's walking pass me in slow mo. Times ticking much slower than usual. I guess it's the sheer lackluster that's infesting this whole damn office and my colleagues.

I just realized that one of this prominent decision-maker in my office is kind of a perv. You're not gonna trick me into telling you. Not so fast yet.

His much questionable attitudes towards males is very much in the spotlight now.

New Colleague

There's a new colleague in office. It's a she. She told some of the office girls i looked familiar to her. What are her intentions of doing so. I am leaving this for everyone to ponder.

Baby, are there any good jobs out there?

Okay. Just in case any good samaritans readers who happens to drop by decides to lend me a hand, i SERIOUSLY am looking for a new job, better, a new career path.

The reason i am writing this out is of cause, i need a better pay and a new challenge.

Anyone with good advice on how to deal with my situation is very much appreciated.

Sincerely,

Adam Kuek

Text me @ 014 687 9316

Please Help Your Furry Friends

Isn't this typical behaviour of Malaysians? When there is no longer any need of us they just discard you..




















About 300 stray dogs were rounded up by Pulau Ketam residents and deported to an isolated island to fend for themselves.Over half of them are already dead and the remaining ones may not live long. A rescue mission is being mounted and your help is needed.

If you have a heart, please help by going through http://www.mycen.com.my/rescue .

To donate or help, e-mail TV Smith at tvsmith@mycen.com.my or Sabrina Yeap at yeapwen@yahoo.com.

Like a leopard that never loses it's spots

Drowning with all the thoughts of feeling lost,
How would life passed me by,
Will you eventually see me as yours,
Or a reflection of the person that used to be in your life.

-adamkuek-11-04-09

That gentle pat..

What do you do when your boss gives you that very odd and gentle pat on the back?

Yes, this morning as i was tidying up some of my worklots, he came from the rear behind, laid his 70++ hands on my right shoulder and grin cheesily at me.

For once, i was totally lost as to what it ( the lascivious look ) really meant, as he is not known to be one 0f those very approachable type.

So, i was taken back by his rather sneaky approach that i hastily asked about what he was doing. To my relieve, he was actually bringing in some of his relative's home grown banana's for my colleagues.

As i was unable to hold my own after receiving one of his so-called power pat that i unknowingly ask were the banana's his, of course in a very subtle manner.

Hell, the banana's certainly looked ripe and elongated. Much like how a male's reproductive system is. Somehow that question got my boss in stiches.

I am taking a wild shot that he was thinking about probably something which i was thinking as well. By the way, despite that rude awakening, i was delighted that each & every part of my bodily appendages stayed intact , for now.

You never know what might happen when a much older & lonely guy meets a rather younger and energetic guy like me. You go figure.

If you were my friend..

" you're losing each of every friends you have slowly ... but surely. "

Oh, i just can recall vividly how the words were uttered through that sweet and luscious lips of yours my friend. But i have to admit, for some reason , that very reminder of yours keeps lingering at the back of my head no matter how much i try to shove it out.

Now, you got me thinking if it was true that i am losing my friends just because i spend less time on them laughing, drinking and clubbing til the wee hours then so be it. I will just make do with those who truly "understands" , than rather criticise.

What astounds me more is that you, my friend, who is culpable of fault-finding, backstabbing, degrading others at freewill for your own sake and has this overwhelming gift of self admiration of oneself could even advice me on how and what i should and should not do in maintaining a friendship, something which you had failed miserably.

It amazes me to no end of your cowardice which is well known, and of how you preach to every ladies out there of your personal attributes which you generously sprinkled onto yourselve throughout the years somehow had the fortitude to stand in front of me and counsel me.

I am not interested in your so-called "A True Friends Honest Advice" considering you had been secretly hiding behind that veil while smearing my good name all these years you narcissistic fuck.

You are just like that two-faced scoundrel from Batman.

I am not angry with you, I pity you, my fiend.

Trimming the lawn...

I am totally aware that i don't write alot ever since i got myself entangled in a massive web of girl-guy relationship.

I am getting rusty with my ideas and the fact that i have to spend most of my time patronising that someone means i have even less time to log onto my hot chick hook-up sites for extra corricular activities.

Even football training sessions had been monitored and sort-of controlled by that somebody significantly. The excuse reason : To prevent me, from getting injured, and injuring others in the process. ( which i really doubt was the main reason in stopping me from attending future football sessions )

Even though i appreciate the concerns regarding on my well-being but then again, i can't see the rationale of having an hour or so off for my football which might hamper / jeopardise the relationship that she currently enjoys.

What can i do then when i am bored. I have yet to be totally deprived off my favourite sport but then again, i wont count out the possibility of it in the near distant future. What other fun things could i do to stimulate myself besides trimming my own pubes , as what my friend had earlier advised me to do which i am having some reservations on. Thanks Aaron for your advice by the way.

I will keep that in mind , hopefully not, i hope.

Backstabbing in the office

It has been ages since i started writing about events which are totally random and i am learning...



I arrived in office this morning to have the wonderful pleasant surprise of my HR manager / exec and whatever you put it to be standing beside me with that huge grin that touches both side of his cheeks.



The thoughts of more salary increment totally evaporated into thin air as he mentioned something about my quite occasional late arrival into office did not bode well with some of the much inferior colleagues of mine.



I was backstabbed by one of my colleagues and for this term, we normally call it as negative office politics. Heck, how would they be any positive office politics by the way and my back is HURTING from the constant thrust that this male hog is giving me.



I do not blame him for his misdeeds but somehow i really UNDERSTAND and symphatize him. I get royal treatments everywhere. He does not. I sweat perfumes all day. He does not. I look good having flu. He does not. Of cause, this are part of the many reasons why he secretly hates me and to tell you the truth, i am beginning to find this rather annoying.

I would probably had gone all riled up if i was the person i used to be back in the 90's. Times changes everything as the saying goes. But now, i'll just let it slip like nothing ever happened.

Oh by the way, SCREW YOU for backstabbing me!!

On another note, to my office guys who constantly visits the toilet, please ensure you aim properly when answering the call of nature. I do not want to have urine stains on my shoes whenever i have other more important matters to attend to while in it.

Thanks in advance.

Final Union 2008 - 2009

Greetings everyone. Yes, i know , i know. Maybe i would reserve the many excuses reasons for the lack of updates in my blog at another time. But i couldn't just let myself off the hook without even explaining what i did for the whole month right? As you can see, i was busy fooling around with balls.
















Not those "bodily appendages" type of balls you sick jerks. It's those balls which i famously kick with my mates. Before i go further, i would like to aplogise to everyone for the poor quality of my articles as i've NOT been writing for quite some time.















By the way, the hunger for success has kept me solely and fully focus on winning some silverwares this year and perhaps only God knows what "other" silverwares and trophies i had won apart from soccer. I won't be revealing you the details, but i am sure you would find out soon.















I guess not many were quite happy with our team retaining what we won the year before. The empty seated stadium serves as a testament to it. We also forked out quite an amount from our own pockets to get a few VIPS to have them present us with the trophy. Ok well, i lied about the last part.















Anyways, our team , professionally known as Final Union and personnally known by everyone as " The Jackasses " has seen much improvement over the years in terms of the quality of football we play, our reputation and also with the healthy introduction of new members every year. On top of that, we have been sponsored by a few groups which includes Masara Sdn Bhd, 2020 Cafe and most recently Balcony.























For me, it indeed was a great 2008 football wise. I guess it would be an even exciting 2009 come next February. Before 2008 ends, i would like to thank my our supporters ( whether we have it or not ) for attending our matches and lend their vocal support to us. We would have achieve much more should my other team mates had brought along more female friends for each match. Any female readers here who are keen to see me us play could just contact me . I'll be extremely glad to ..... welcome you.

Happy Garden

A thousand apologies for my lack of updates and drive to write. This was down to "certain" factors and reasons which i deem inappropriate to review at the moment. Okay, right ever since the Mandy K incidence, i tried to not make her feel bad for what happened so i kinda tweak my breakfast destination a little. Here goes HAPPY GARDEN .

















Happy Garden is located a stone throws from my office. It is basically a cafe where theres no little chicks would go. Seriously. I can't even recall once a cute little girl dining there. By the way, that's not the point. I was introduced to this cafe few months back by my colleagues and it's whereabouts? Krokop 10.

















Happy Garden boasts a repertoire of delicacies. Hence, the reason why i continue to patronize that very place apart from trying to be happy. The best thing about Happy Garden would definitely be it's fried kueh tiaw and it could probably go down as the only stall which has i's fried kueh tiaw FRIED while in a sitting position.

















I normally opt for the al fresco feel because of the humid surroundings inside the cafe. Al fresco.. this cracks me up whenever i mention it.

















Lame jokes apart, this is the flagship fried kueh tiaw by sir-sit&cook . I prefer it to be fried with hot chilli as it certainly opens up my appetite in the morning. That old chap fries really good kueh tiaw and theres generous amount of ingredients dumped into it as well.

















Just look at how delicious and so vibrant the kueh tiaw looks. It made me felt dizzy too after consuming it just because of it's richness. LOL. Kueh Tiaw lovers should give this place a try!! It's on my recommendation!

Title: Undecided

Title: undecided ( I guess this was what you had to say to me before you left, and before you took back all the words )


I'm sorry, your cries, i had enough,
Walking together these while has been tough,
You only serves to break the heart,
It's better off for us to part.

A single nothing in us to yield,
If we carry on together still,
None the reason for you to cry & kneel,
When your words are all but real.

A punctured heart, I've grown used to,
Your words helped made it see through,
When was my love ever real for you?
Forget about the promises which you said were new.

Days gone by and theres none to say,
You grew as my regret day by day,
Forever gone, hoping you may,
I'm sorry, I've grown weary of your ways.

You played the part of a mistaken soul,
Every good you did were just for show,
Time will tell when your heart shall sore,
For a love that deserves to soar.


- adamk 29-08-08

How Far

.... we walked that far to see it through at the very end.



Tell me what love is,
And how it came to me like this,
Could it be what i really need,
What would have been living without it?

Having no control over this feeling,
Around her seems like a blessing,
Never ceases to amazed,
How did we met in the first place?

Such a fool to slowly realize that,
Of all the feelings when it's too late,
Gone were the dreams like tuesday's morning dew,
Forgetting seems hard when it comes to you.

Believing you could never be the one,
Wishing you are just walking pass once,
What you had left were painful scars,
Asking myself, this love could only go how far?

Knowing it's the wrong thing to do,
How much can a heart go through,
The thoughts of you knows no end,
Being with you again, will it ever end the same?

A love we once thought forever had,
Now leaves a promise once made to share,
As you put your trust in others when i was there,
Marks the end for us in every single way.

-adam K- 27-08-08

A People's Victory !!!

The people has spoken. Anwar won the Permatang Pauh seat with a thumping majority of 15,671. His victory marks a return to Parliament for the PKR adviser after an enforced absence of 10 years.

There's only one swearing which DSAI needs to do now, and that is to be sworn in as the NEW MP for PERMATANG PAUH.

The Smile of December

After a year , this is for you. It seems as if time is catching up with us.



Your smile is the reason my heart remembers,
When you danced by the hall last December,
Letting go of your hands as you went your way,
My heart aches for you to stay.

Your eyes showed me that everlasting warmth,
When with others, were long gone,
You are the sparkle amongst the crowd,
Are there any other words i could say about?

Some say it's love at first sight,
Tried denying with all my might,
What might fool others, could not fool the heart,
As loving you, it too plays it's part.

Your goodbyes clouds my mind,
How did i not read between the lines,
That you would not have left,
If it weren't for my goodbyes and waves.

Holding on for you to stay,
Regretting the day you walked away,
Will you still be there this December?
For a smile which i'll forever remember.


-adam K- 26-08-08

The Rose in Gold

If you were to ask me how i felt for you, then this should be it.


It's undeniable that time is passing us by,
Without realizing that, will you see me as a fool?
It's conceivable the reason you cried,
Cause after all these years, friends are only where we stood.

Wishes of us were left unheard over the years,
You left me wondering will this wait be able to hold,
Forgive me, of all things , you were the one i feared,
Please stop my mind from potraying you as the rose in gold.

In this silence , i thanked God for letting me met,
Someone i never could have,
But it's not about what would or should have been,
But as an excuse for me to exist it seems.

Like a shadow that follows you through the years,
As part of your life, noticing me you sadly can't,
When your radiance shines and unfolds in others,
Mine doesn't seem to matter, when i have none.

A love that blossoms inside an empty jar,
Never being able to reach out for your soul,
We have been so near yet so far,
From here, you'll forever be the rose in gold.


-adamkuek- 25-08-08

A Reason To Believe

You blamed me for not trusting you, when you trusted someone else. = )


Today, i've found every reason to believe,
Every reason i thought i couldn't have seeked,
Every reason i believed i never would need,
That every smile & tears you've shed were for me.

Sorry, for i've kept you wondering,
Wondering about every meaning of my words,
Sorry, for i've buried all the feelings,
The feeling of seeing you that hurts.

The smile on your face gradually fades,
The last smile we had lingers still inside of my head,
If only i've believed in fate,
I wouldn't have hid myself from you and wait.

The heart ceases to beat it seems,
Ever since you showed me the tears in your eyes before it fall,
Give me a reason to believe,
That your heart will continue to beat,
Eventually without me..


-adam kuek- 19.08.08

I'm Fine Without You

You're gone before you're back.... That's how fast it was.


I'm fine without you,
Without your smile and your presence,
The air i breathe no longer carries your breath,
A goodbye to you this August as a present.

Why don't you give me up?
For your new happiness this time around,
I'm fine without you now,
I've given you everything for nothing.

Silence hides and betray your thoughts,
Quietly killing the bond we had,
Can you disappear for the better?
I've given you everything so stop being sad.

Remember you pushed me away,
When i was in need of you,
I was the one to blame,
To fell in this game with you.

You took me away from you,
Everything i've given up for you,
The dreams i had no longer carries your picture,
This time around, can you disappear?

An apology means nothing this time around,
Thousands were heard ever since,
I'm fine without you now,
Even if i've never regretted to be part of this game we were in.


-adam kuek- 23.06.08